


Made With Love

by Justanotherfangirl



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: (both those only in the 3rd chapter), Angst, Blood, Gen, I bumped up the rating cuz the newest chapter is a little gorey, Vomiting, Well not the first chapter but defo the second, also: Angus is the world's best boy, i had to write something after the last episode, i still don't know how to tag, spoilers for episode 65
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-11-16 02:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11244465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justanotherfangirl/pseuds/Justanotherfangirl
Summary: Three meals that changed the course of Taako's life.





	1. Chapter 1

He couldn't remember how old he was, but it was early in his life. He and Lup were probably only eight or nine.

Their parents were gone. No one would tell them why, or where to, but they were smart enough to figure out that they weren't coming back.

They were lucky they had an aunt to take them in. They were even luckier that she was kind.

She wasn't very well-off; her husband had been a miner and she had been a chef at a small restaurant in town, but after he died, she had to struggle just to make ends meet. It was even harder to stay afloat when two children were suddenly thrust upon her. She took any job she could find - washing clothes, cleaning houses, part-time nannying - but she tried to find time for Lup and Taako when she wasn't working. Sometimes, though, she would go long stretches of time without coming home, going from job to job.

Taako remembered one night in particular. His aunt had been gone all day, and the sun had set a little while ago. Taako and Lup were waiting up for her on the living room couch, trying not to fall asleep.

"Auntie sure is taking a long time..." Lup commented unnecessarily. They both knew she was working long hours.

Taako hummed in agreement, already nodding off. He woke with a start when Lup shook him.

"We have to stay awake for Auntie!" Lup said. She pouted as Taako yawned. Then her face brightened as an idea formed in her mind.

"Taako!"

Taako stifled another yawn and looked at her with bleary eyes. "What?"

"When Auntie comes home, I bet she's gonna be hungry!"

"So?" Taako was too tired to think about what Lup was getting at.

"So, we should cook for her! Like she always cooks for us! Then she wouldn't have to make dinner and she could eat and go to sleep earlier, so she doesn't have to stay up so late and be so tired!"

Taako's face lit up. It was a perfect idea!

They set to work. They decided to make spaghetti. Taako thought it would be easy because, as he told Lup, "it's just noodles, basically."

They tried making sauce with some tomatoes and other vegetables they found in the house.

"How are we supposed to do this?" asked Lup, holding a pepper uncertainly.

"You just chop it up and throw it in, I think." Taako said, though he had no idea what he was talking about.

Eventually, they ended up with a sauce that was too watery and had large chunks of vegetables floating in it and noodles that were almost all the way cooked. They stared at their dish with pride.

"Auntie's gonna be so excited!" Lup squealed, and Taako nodded emphatically.

It wasn't very long before they heard the sound of a key turning in the lock of the door and their aunt trudged in, bags under her eyes and feet dragging. She looked startled to see them.

"Shouldn't you two be in bed?" she asked with a smile, entering the kitchen. Taako and Lup stood in front of their concoction, hiding grins. Then they nodded to each other, and Taako cleared his throat.

"Auntie, we made you dinner!"

They parted with a flourish to reveal the spaghetti they had made, which looked sad and soggy but certainly edible.

Their aunt didn't move for a moment. Taako started to grow nervous. Was she mad at them? Did they do something wrong? Did she -

His thoughts were cut off as he and his sister were wrapped up in a hug, almost swept off their feet by the force of their aunt's embrace.

"Thank you so much, Taako and Lup." She straightened up. She looked like she was about to cry. "This means a lot to me."

She sat down and she ate the whole thing, complimenting them all the while. Taako and Lup beamed. Then their aunt smiled and spoke.

"How about I teach you kids how to cook? Would you like that?"

Lup and Taako both nodded like bobble heads.

From that day on, whenever their aunt wasn't working she was in the kitchen with the two, teaching them everything she knew.

Soon enough, she found a covered plate of food left out for her on the counter when she got home every night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako's meal for Lup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while, I was busy sliding into those DMs (depressed moods). I didn't really check this for typos so if you see any tell me. Thanks for reading!

"I want you to help me have a really, really good day," Lup said earnestly. She looked so sincere, maybe the most genuine Taako had ever seen her look over the past eighty-two years. 

Taako didn't know what was going on, but he knew his sister needed him. He wouldn't let her down. He nodded, grin on his face, and started planning immediately.

Of course he would have to cook something for her. Cooking meant so much to both of them, and it was something they had always done with each other and for each other. But what could be special enough for this amazing day Lup needed? What could he make that would blow her completely out of the water?

Over the course of the month, the details of the day slowly clinked into place. Well, expect one major detail: he still hadn't come up with a suitable dish to cook Lup for dinner. Taako knew he had to make her a meal she would always remember to complete her perfect day. He wracked his brain, trying to think of a recipe she didn't know or a meal she had always wanted to try. He kept coming up short.

The month was drawing to a close, and Taako was growing desperate. What could he possibly make for her that would be good enough? Something special, something... something Lup would love... what did Lup love more than anything?

He suddenly remembered a comment Lup had made cycles ago, when their birthday came and passed. A remark about how the food in this plane was so good, it was almost as good as their aunt's. Lup asked him if he remembered how every birthday, their aunt would cook-

The turkey! That was it!

Taako grinned. A little conjuring, a little help from Barry, and his plan would be complete.

When the day came, Taako was ready. He woke up at an ungodly hour and cooked all of Lup's favorite breakfast foods: pancakes, French toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, anything and everything he could conjure up.

Lup, as he had anticipated and, in fact, counted on, crashed hard after she ate. That gave Taako all the time he needed to get ready for dinner. After he conjured the turkey and seasoned it to perfection, following his aunt's recipe from memory, it was almost time for him to wake up Lup. There was only one person he could ask to watch the turkey while he led Lup around. 

"Now Barry," he said, "not even you can fuck this up. I already seasoned it and everything."

He gave Barry a quick run down of when to do what, how long the turkey should roast and some basic basting skills. The whole time Taako watched Barry's face intently, making sure he understood it all. He looked a little bit overwhelmed, but Taako didn't have another option. 

Taako kept trying to reassure himself that the turkey would come out fine as Lup blasted apart the DMV. Barry was competent enough, and it wasn't like any real skill was required for the last few steps. Still, Taako worried up until they got near the Starblaster and the scent of the turkey, cooked to perfection, wafted out to him.

He glanced at Lup and saw her eyes widen and fill with tears. Taako was close to crying himself. It had been so long since he had tasted their aunt's cooking... so many memories came flooding back at the scent, and he was sure Lup was feeling the same nostalgia he felt. She wiped her eyes and went inside.

They ate in comfortable silence for a moment, both remembering their aunt carefully cooking the turkey for them every year, taking time off from work to be with them and make something amazing for them. Taako remembered tasting her love for them in every single bite. He hopes Lup tastes that in his turkey as well. Lup finally breaks the silence.

"Here in a couple days Barry and I are going to do something, and I want you to be there for it."

Taako's heart started thudding loudly in his chest. He didn't let Lup know about his nervousness, though. He simply nodded.

"We're..." she started, uncertain. "Don't freak out, promise me."

"Okay?" Taako said. His stomach was churning.

She barely waited for Taako's response before barreling ahead. "We're going to become liches, Taako."

Taako barely heard her hurried explanation of what was going to happen to her and Barry. His ears were ringing. Of course he knew what liches were. He and Lup had studied them together, both scoffing at how ignorant some people could be, trying to play god when all the odds were stacked against them and they were more likely to die painfully than achieve any sort of power. But now his sister wanted to become one. No, now his sister was going to become one, whether he agreed or not. And because of that, Taako was terrified. What if something went wrong? What if she died... forever? At the thought, the room swirled for a second and Taako had to grip the edge of the table to stay grounded. Lup was still talking. He focused on her voice.

"But you... I needed a day from you because you are my heart. You know that, right?"

Taako spoke through a haze. "Yeah." His voice sounded so calm, so indifferent, but he was crumbling. His whole world was falling apart as he felt himself smile.

He quickly changed the subject, bringing out the bottle of Grey Goose he had conjured, trying to stay lighthearted. He hoped Lup didn't see his legs shaking.

Taako wanted to tell her no, wanted to protect her from this, but he knew it didn't matter what he said. And that was terrifying to him. They had always done everything together, told each other everything, but Taako couldn't share in this. She was going somewhere he could not follow. Lup was going to do this, and what if she- what if she didn't- what if he was left alone-

He shook himself out of his thoughts. He smiled through the rest of their evening, ignoring the burning dread in the pit of his stomach. Lup must have noticed his fear, but she, thankfully, didn't say anything.

He couldn't sleep until the day he saw Lup's soul reenter her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this far! I love you!! One more chapter and it's gonna be kinda angsty, I'm sure you can guess what it is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now... the angst. The meal that really fucked Taako's life over, served in a town called Glamour Springs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me! Be warned: this chapter is kinda graphic about the deaths in glamour springs and Taako's reaction to the event.
> 
> Questions? Comments? Concerns? Some other fourth thing? Leave me a comment or hmu at Tumblr, my url is the-syrup-witch. I also have a new Magnus blog called whyismagnuscrying which you may wanna check out!

Taako barely remembered his aunt; he had only a vague, featureless image in his mind of a kind elven lady who taught him how to cook. He thought he remembered loving her, but thinking too hard about her only resulted in fuzzy static and a slight headache. Trying to remember what happened to her, if she was dead or alive or just gone, resulted in the same mental blockage.

Taako did, however, remember how to cook. He remembered everything his aunt had told him, everything he picked up from various caravans and traveling shows, and everything he had studied with... with... someone. He couldn't quite remember who, but Taako fuzzily recalled learning about the culinary arts with someone else. 

When his mind drifted to those empty spaces in his memory, he usually just shrugged it off. He rationalized that the person, whoever they were, must not be all that important if he couldn't even remember their name.

But Taako didn't dwell too much on the gaps in his memory. He chalked them up to memories he unknowingly repressed or just his usual forgetfulness. It didn't impact the present, so there was no need for him to worry about it. As long as he could cook, he could do his show, and as long as he could do his show, he didn't need anything else.

As he and Sazed set up for their show in Glamour Springs, Taako found himself thinking of that forgotten person. He didn't know why - maybe it was the allure of this cozy little town, or the calmness of the afternoon air, or maybe just the smooth monotony of chopping vegetables and meat - but Taako allowed himself a few minutes to dwell on the person who used to be so important to him. He managed to conjure up a few vague memories of their laugh, their oven-mitted hands clutching a cookie sheet, and their arm around his waist. Not romantically, he thought with confidence, definitely not romantically. But familiar, maybe even loving, their arm just casually embracing him. Taako, surprisingly, felt nostalgic at the memory. More than nostalgia, he actually felt... sadness. Loss. Even... pain.

He pushed the person from his mind with a shake of his head, chastising himself for letting his emotions get the better of him. No use ruining a perfectly good afternoon with stupid, soft thoughts. Taako left Sazed to finish preparing the food while he got ready for the show in the back of the wagon.

Taako smiled at himself in the mirror. He brushed off his vague feelings of sadness and felt confidence settle over his features like a familiar blanket. It didn't matter who Taako had forgotten; he was a one man show, and he liked it that way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the first person started choking, Taako didn't grow too concerned. He assumed they had simply eaten too fast. It happened from time to time. This wasn't the first time he had had to do the heimlich at a show, and in all honesty, it usually improved the audience's opinion of him. It made him look like a hero. Making a big show of pushing up his sleeves and plastering an exaggerated look of concern onto his face, he rushed into the crowd.

But when all forty audience members started tumbling to the ground around him and coughing up blood, Taako stopped running and started to panic. The faux concern on his face morphed into true fear.

Instantly he knew he had fucked up something in the transmutation. His audience was dying, writhing on the ground as bloody foam spewed from their lips. Taako froze, his own blood turning to solid ice in his veins. What... what did he do? What did he do?! 

He could feel the image of his audience dying before his eyes being burned into his brain. He couldn't stop seeing it, no matter how many times he shook his head and blinked his eyes. Taako backed up slowly, bumping into the wagon; he whipped his head back frantically to see the words "Sizzle it Up!" written in flowing script and tasteful colors across the side. The sight of it made him feel sick.

Taako wanted to scream, to cry, to curl up in a ball and squeeze his eyes shut until this nightmare vanished, but instead he grabbed Sazed, threw him into the wagon, and yelled at him to drive. Drive far, far away.

He and Sazed didn't speak at all as the sun dipped down below the horizon. The time passed in silence. The sun rose up again, but they didn't stop. 

Taako couldn't close his eyes without seeing all the bodies, all the blood, and his poisoned food strewn on the ground half-eaten. He had had a lot of time to think on the silent ride; he had developed a gruesome theory as to what had gone wrong. It must have been the elderberries. Taako must have accidentally transmuted nightshade instead. His stomach churned as he remembered their faces, excited and smiling and trusting, and he didn't bother asking Sazed to stop as he vomited out of the side of the wagon, not for the first time.

The morning turned into afternoon, and the afternoon to evening, and they still didn't stop. Taako didn't think he would be able to sleep (maybe not ever again). Apparently, though, he dozed off, because the next thing he knew Sazed was shaking him awake and whispering to get out of the wagon. Taako noticed that his face was damp with tears that he had no memory crying. This realization evoked no emotion in him; Taako was completely numb. The lack of feeling was almost a relief compared to the raw panic and horror that was previously churning in his stomach.

Not even bothering to collect his things, Taako exited the wagon without saying a word and stumbled into the inn Sazed had taken them to. He watched as though through a dusty film as Sazed paid for their rooms. He shoved a key at Taako, who accepted it without comment. He went to his room and laid down stiffly on the bed, not even pulling back the sheets.

Of course, he didn't sleep. 

When the sun came up he knew that Sazed had left without even having to check. He knew Sazed, knew he didn't care enough to stay with him at the threat of his own safety. Regardless, Taako checked the other room, then outside; neither Sazed nor the wagon were anywhere in sight. The only thing left behind was a small bundle of Taako's belongings left on Sazed's bed.

Taako didn't blame him. He would have done the same thing. Still, his chest ached; he was alone. 

Although he hated to admit it, Sazed's abandonment caused something to die deep inside Taako. It seemed like the point of no return, the proof of just how badly he had fucked up. It felt like Sazed had been his last chance at... what? Redemption? Companionship? That was it, a friend, or at least someone who stuck around. At least someone who was there, who stayed. But Taako had gone too far this time, and there was no one left, not Sazed, not his aunt, and not that mysterious forgotten person who Taako couldn't get out of his mind. 

Taako guessed he deserved to be alone, though. What kind of monster kills forty people and just runs? What person would want to be around him after what he had done?

He thought back to that forgotten person from years ago, learning how to cook alongside him. He thought about them smiling and laughing and joking together, vague but certain memories pulled from the static of his mind. What would they think of him now? What emotion would overtake their forgotten features? Disbelief? Or, more likely, disgust? Hatred?

As his thoughts spun wilder out of his control, Taako felt a weight settle deep in his chest, the weight of those he had killed. He looked himself dead in the eye in the mirror, refusing to flinch at the baggy and red-rimmed eyes that stared back at him. 

He made a promise to himself then. He swore that he would always be alone, that he would never let anyone get close enough to hurt him so much by leaving. Taako would cut himself off completely from the world. It was better that way, for himself and for those around him. This way, he couldn't hurt any other innocent people, and nobody could abandon him. Maybe, if he were alone, he would never feel this hurt, this feeling of betrayal and abandonment and pain, ever again.

Or maybe, through isolation and loneliness, he could atone for the awful thing he had done and crush the guilt that was gnawing at his gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I originally planned to only have 3 chapters but I really dont want to leave this fic on such a sad note, so I think I'm gonna post one more!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter how much he hates it, Taako has people who he cares about and who care about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy sorry this took like 20 years. This chapter is just a big mushy happy mess to make up for the angst haha. Enjoy the fluff :)

Taako didn't have any "friends," and he certainly didn't intend to make any. _Especially_ not these two bumbling clowns. If he was being honest, he was almost embarrassed to be seen with them.

Even if Magnus's smile did feel like coming home after years on the road, alone, and Merle's laugh did feel like a song he had heard a long time ago, in a different life.

Despite the occasional, inexplicable tug in Taako's chest, these two had almost no redeeming qualities. Hell, they were almost as stupid as he was, and that was saying something.

So it came as quite a surprise, to himself most of all, when he found himself attached to these losers. Taako realized he was spending more and more time in the common area between their rooms, as if he were subconsciously looking for an excuse to talk to them. He, almost against his will, discovered he actually liked Merle's weird dad humor and Magnus's earnestness and excitement. 

Whatever. So he had two... not _friends_ , exactly, more like... _attachments_. Taako rationalized them, saying that he could allow himself two weaknesses, because he actually felt... good, for once. Not lonely, for the first time since - well, in a long time. It felt nice to have somebody after so long on his own. Taako cautiously enjoyed the companionship, on the condition that he wouldn't expand this lapse of self control to encompass any other victims.

But the Bureau of Balance had other plans for him.

First, it was Angus. The kid practically clung to Taako's pant leg, he was so close to him. Taako did his best to push him away, but after seeing those big eyes, so wide and trusting and _good_ , filled with hurt and betrayal over his words, he couldn't force himself to keep torturing the kid. It was fine; Taako could handle one more person on his small list of people he wanted to keep around. It was fine... probably. As long as he didn't make anymore - _attachments_.

But this organization Taako had gotten himself entangled in seemed intent on thwarting his plan. Avi would often strike up casual conversation in the hallways, and soon Taako started going out of his way to walk down the halls where Avi usually was. Killian and Carey invited him to train with them every couple days, and, after a few weeks, Taako accepted. Even the Director would sometimes invite him to her office for tea, and even though he barely knew her, Taako enjoyed just sitting with her. He found himself growing closer to everyone on the base, and the closer he got, the less he thought closeness was a bad thing. Maybe... maybe this could be a good thing.

But when he walked into the cafeteria and saw the entire Bureau staring at him expectantly, food piled on all the tables, and fucking _streamers_ decorating the room, he immediately decided that yes, this was in fact a _very_ bad thing.

Before he could sprint out of the room Magnus had Taako scooped up in a bear hug, ignoring his squirming and indignant shouting. He heard the other Bureau members laughing, which he absolutely did not appreciate. Magnus plopped him down in the center of the room.

"Okay, so what the fuck is this," Taako said, crossing his arms. Briefly, he considered making another run for it, but figured he would only end up in another restraining hug. No need to go through that humiliation again.

Angus popped up then, a bright smile on his face and a plate of macaroons in his hands. Taako ignored the fondness the sight created in him.

"Well, sir, remember a few weeks ago when it was my birthday and you told me you hadn't ever had a party?"

Oh, fuck. That's what this was. He knew he shouldn't have told the kid, but Angus kept asking him over and over in that excited voice, and Taako just couldn't lie to him. Again, Taako considered escape, but he was surrounded by Bureau employees on all sides.

"Look, Agnes, I didn't tell you that so you'd throw me a fuckin' surprise party! I hate parties, and besides, my birthday isn't for months, so I don't get why you forced everyone to -"

"Oh! But everyone wanted to, sir!" Angus interrupted, smile never faltering. "Magnus told me he was already planning to throw you a party!"

What? Taako looked over and saw Magnus give an apologetic shrug. How did that idiot find out that he never celebrated his birthday? He was going to have some words with him after this was over.

"Well, that's Magnus, he's the biggest fuckin' softie I've ever met. I can't see the rest of these clowns giving a shit about my birthday -"

"It was a group effort," the Director said, smiling. "Taako, you're a valuable member of the Bureau of Balance."

Valuable? No fucking way. Taako looked around, expecting someone to step forward any minute now and admit that this whole thing was a joke. But, to his amazement, several people were nodding and muttering in agreement. Then Merle chimed up.

"You do save our asses more times than I'd like to admit," he said with a chuckle, which Magnus echoed.

"And your magic is fuckin sick," a voice yelled from the crowd. Other voices shouted in agreement.

"You made those good macaroons for everyone," Killian added.

"And maybe we like having you around," Magnus joked, bumping Taako's shoulder.

Taako was speechless. Angus, oblivious to Taako's bewilderment, kept going.

"That's why we all wanted to make something for you!"

And Taako realized that each person present held a plate with a different food.

They... they cooked for him. Taako wasn't much of a crier, but he may have felt a few tears begin to form in the corners of his eyes. 

He walked over to Angus and grabbed a macaroon off the plate. It almost crumbled in his hand and looked slightly burnt at the edges, but there was no way in hell he was going to deny this kid after a speech that heartfelt. Not even he was that heartless. He took a bite.

He was pleasantly surprised; the cookie, although it looked unappetizing, tasted fine. It actually tasted good. Really good. Taako was impressed. He ruffled Angus's hair and grinned at him.

"These are great, kid," Taako said. Angus looked over the moon with joy.

Taako made the rounds, tasting everyone's food and offering criticism. Magnus produced a black lump that in no way resembled food, offering a sheepish shrug while Taako looked on in horror. He didn't know it was possible to be that bad at cooking. He congratulated Magnus on being the absolute worst cook he had ever met. Magnus thanked him sincerely, and tossed his mess in the trash.

Merle had made a salad with all kinds of berries. It wasn't half bad. Taako told Merle it was good and only got an flippant wave in response, but Taako could see a grin hidden behind his beard.

The Director made some tea and scones, which were probably the best food present at the party. When Taako told her this, she just smiled as if she were hiding some secret. Weird, but the food was great, which Taako appreciated.

Carey and Killian cooked together, some sort of stew. Killian admitted it was the only thing either of them knew how to make. Avi brought the alcohol, of course, which Taako greatly appreciated. 

As Taako made the rounds, sampling everyone's (mediocre at best) dishes, he felt a swell of pure joy. He hadn't felt this good in a long time. Actually, he couldn't remember the last time he had felt this happy, this loved. Everyone was smiling at him, telling him stories about cooking with loved ones, laughing and joking. And all of this was for him. While he remained outwardly stoic and aloof (he had a reputation to uphold, after all), Taako was genuinely touched. He felt a hole inside him that he hadn't even been aware of closing as he saw all the smiling faces around him.

Tomorrow, Taako would pretend none of this had ever happened. He would go back to his rude and irritating and haughty self. But maybe, in time, he could allow himself to have a few attachments. No, not attachments. Friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not really sure about this chapter, I mostly wanted to get this done because I felt like I had left this unfinished for too long. I hope you liked it anyway! Leave a comment! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I originally wanted to make this a oneshot but it got long, so it's gonna be like 3 chapters! Hope you enjoy! <3


End file.
